Teenage Children - Balancing the Relationship

Teenagers! One minute as parents our relationship is great the next Whoosh! Up it goes in flames - again. Is that how seems in your family?

Bringing up teenagers is for sure a challenging prospect and one of seemingly precarious balance. It is so easy to drop the wrong side of the ridge and at times it seems that whatever you do it is 'out of the chip pan and into the fire' [an English saying].

It used to be that way in my family, all calm and comfortable with everyone getting on well with their own things, me with my hobbies and my teenage children doing well? whatever it is that teenagers do?.and that was part of the problem?. the gap of ages so to speak.

It used to really wind me up when following a perfectly innocent comment all hell would break lose and to the chain reaction would burst forth. One minute calm and tranquillity? the next into the heart of the furnace with each providing the fuel to the other.

The trigger that fired, created anger and anger spurned more anger, it was getting ridiculous and no one 'won' or gained anything from it other than a bad feeling followed by guilt.

But as parents we have the benefit of having been there, done that?. As is said so often and you would think that as mature adults we would see the situations for what they are.

Eventually the light came on as to how to break the cycle?..You know that other old saying? It takes two to have an argument? well I MUST be getting older as I hear myself using the very same phrases so often heard of my parents and grand parents, yes they have stood the test of time and more likely because of the truth that lies within them. So that was it really, I realised that the best way to solve this was to manage things that I had the ability to control. The thing that had been staring me in the face was really quite simple?It takes two to have an argument? so remove myself from the situation?. Result? - no argument and no I didn't leave the family!

What I did though was research, study and then put into action a number of techniques that would help me to manage my own anger and thereby starve the furnace of it's fuel? result?... no arguments, I felt much much better, the tension like atmosphere has pretty much gone and yes, when my children wind me up I can manage to discuss it with them without the original scenario returning to the discussion.

Life is good again, understanding has grown in leaps and bounds and I now know that 'Garage' isn't only about automobiles!

Anger Management is for many rather difficult to explore. JJ Coopers program takes a comprehensive look at practical, proven methods gained by helping people deal with anger and anger issues. http://www.anger-management-ebook.com

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